By Floyd Godfrey, PhD

Understanding the Challenge

Many parents are shocked and overwhelmed when they discover their child has been exposed to, or is regularly using, pornography. In today’s digital world, access to explicit material is easier than ever, and unfortunately, many teens fall into patterns of compulsive viewing before they even understand the emotional and psychological consequences. Over the years, I have worked with countless families navigating this exact struggle. What I’ve consistently observed is that while the addiction itself is difficult, what often makes recovery even more complicated is the awkward or distant communication dynamic between parents and their children.

Educational Strategies for Parents

One of the most crucial steps in helping a child or teen recover from pornography addiction is changing the nature of your conversations at home. This process begins with education, both for you and your child. Parents must understand that pornography addiction is not simply a behavior issue but often a maladaptive coping mechanism tied to emotional needs, stress, or social isolation. As Weiss and Glaser (2021) emphasize, “As you begin to adjust or set up your family routines, ongoing, open, and safe conversations will be essential to your success” (p. 110).

Many parents initially feel unsure or uncomfortable when talking about sexual topics with their children. This discomfort must be addressed head-on. Normalizing these discussions and approaching them with empathy helps break down shame and secrecy. The conversation must go beyond simply setting up rules or using monitoring software. As the authors caution, “But the conversations can't end once the tech rules and tools are established” (Weiss & Glaser, 2021, p. 111).

The Role of Therapeutic and Coaching Interventions

Recovery for your child may require more than just parental involvement. Professional coaching or therapy with a specialist in sexual addiction can be instrumental in uncovering underlying emotional needs, trauma, or compulsive patterns. Professionals have long emphasized the psychological underpinnings of addictive behavior, showing how unresolved emotional pain can drive compulsions. These insights are especially helpful for young people who may lack the language or self-awareness to express what’s driving their behaviors.

One important role that parents can adopt is that of an “ally.” Weiss and Glaser (2021) encourage parents to “connect with our kids regularly about their experiences and beliefs, becoming for them what our friend Ann Kerr calls 'allies'” (p. 111). Becoming an ally means showing up consistently and without judgment, creating space for your child to share struggles. This doesn’t require parents to have all the answers, but it does require showing compassion and asking thoughtful questions.

“The ally comes alongside a son or daughter with compassion and support, asking basic but somewhat probing questions about friendships, romantic interests, struggles with lust or temptation, and life in general,” say Weiss and Glaser (2021, p. 111). While this may feel unnatural at first, it becomes easier over time. “Even if you aren't there yet, you can, through consistent check-ins, transform what is initially awkward into a routine and normal part of your relationship” (Weiss & Glaser, 2021, p. 111).

Rebuilding Connection and Hope

What gives me the most hope, and what I’ve witnessed firsthand in my clinical work, is the transformative power of consistent, compassionate parenting. When families begin to shift from a reactionary stance to one of active engagement, the results can be profound. Healing from pornography addiction is not just about stopping a behavior, it’s about restoring connection, trust, and emotional resilience.

This journey can be uncomfortable, especially at first, but your willingness to show up and walk through it with your child can be the foundation for meaningful growth. Parents who invest in these awkward, often difficult conversations find that their relationship with their child strengthens, and new habits of emotional honesty emerge.

With the right blend of education, therapeutic support, and a family dynamic rooted in openness and empathy, recovery is not only possible, but also likely.

Floyd Godfrey, PhD is a Clinical Sexologist and a Certified Sex Addiction Specialist. He has been guiding clients since 2000 and currently speaks and provides consulting and mental health coaching across the globe. To learn more about Floyd Godfrey, PhD please visit his website: www.FloydGodfrey.com.

References

Weiss, D., & Glaser, J. (2021). Treading boldly through a pornographic world: A field guide for parents. Salem Press.